Are We As A Society Too Hypocritical?

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Hey guys! Long time, no post I know! I’ve been so busy. I will try to do better I promise :).

Any who, back to the subject at hand.  As we all know by now, some time a week or so Bruce Jenner showed the world he has transcended into Caitlyn in Vanity Fair and had the Internet buzzing! For the most part, she has been embraced by many, received mostly positive remarks and even offered the ESPY Courage Award (even though some do not feel she deserves it).

At first, I was’t going to touch on this subject because EVERYONE else was talking about it already. Plus, my motto in life is “do whatever makes you happy, as long as you are not hurting anyone else in the process.” However, I saw this post traveling down my timeline on Instagram and had me intrigued a bit.

When I clicked on this post, it was a slew of of likes and comments that agreed with the post. A few commenters (mostly women) disagreed and it ended up being a heated debate in the comment section.

 I will admit society can be hypocritical at times. Nowadays, we (not everyone sadly) are a lot more accepting of someone who is gay or transgender. Honestly, it takes courage to come out and express who you are to your loved ones and the world around you with the possibility of being disowned, ridiculed, beaten or killed. It does seems like we as a society are quick to accept Caitlyn over the young ladies that are unhappy with their bodies and decided to do something about it.

Here’s how I agree with the post: There are a lot young and adult women who are insecure about their bodies and constantly deal with the pressure of having a particular body image to feel attractive. On top of that, dealing with negative comments from people, reminding them daily how imperfect they are physically.  Both the women and Caitlyn decided to modified their bodies to make themselves happy, confidant and free to be who they are.

Here’s how I disagree: There are women out there who are quick to modified their bodies not necessarily due to insecurities but specifically for a little social media popularity. A lot of women in the entertainment, sex industry/nightlife will often change their bodies to increase their notoriety. We all know sadly sex sells. If a stripper, bottle girl, bartender, hell even a Hooter’s girl gets butt injections, liposuction and/or breast implants, their tips will increase. You can even be famous nowadays just because you look good. Disturbingly, there was a screenshot of a young lady who recently had butt injections (specifically it was a picture of the injection site ewww!) that was floating around on Instagram. In the picture, the women made a caption stating that she admits to having the procedure, proud of having the procedure and how her body is going to get her “far” in life. Smh. That’s how I say it is different. The intention or motives behind getting the modifications done are different.

But, then again, who am I to judge? Like I stated previously, “do whatever makes you happy, as long as you are not hurting anyone else in the process.” That is the code that I live by. It’s your body and we all have one life to live. Do as you please.

What is your take on it?

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Do You “Censor” Yourself Before Posting on Social Media??

First and foremost, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I wanted to share a very intriguing article I came across on LinkedIn the other day entitled “STFU: The Coming Age of Self-Censorship” by Dave Pell and how he discuss why he keeps his innermost thoughts to himself due to the dangers of “over sharing” via social media.

 silence

As I was reading, I began to reflect on all the social media shenanigans I went through in my Senior High/Freshmen in College years as a result of using Social Media as a “Diary.” Now don’t get me wrong, I was not pouring my little heart out in every posts, expressing my EVERY thought process in vivid detail but was still over-sharing nonetheless. I’ve had other social media accounts at the time but I really began to formed over-sharing habits once I joined Facebook. I tagged EVERY place I visited,  EVERYone I hung out with, EVERY guy I dated, etc… Not to mention I was tagged by friends in the infamous wild and crazy college party pictures. They’re gone now. Thank God! *Whew.*

Once family members began lurking on Facebook, I turned to Twitter as an “outlet” to unleash all the things I would be judged for saying (lol).  Needless to say, I no longer “over-share” let alone post anything on social media unless it is my blog posts, positive/funny memes, inspiration quotes and of course, the occasional selfie. You never know who is lurking.  It could be a potential job, relatives, school, police, neighbor(s), stalker(s), FBI, crazy exes, etc.. The possibilities are endless!

We’ve ALL heard stories of that one guy/girl who did not get the job, got fired from their job, or got arrested due to a post on their social media account. Its sad that you can type in Google, “jailed for Facebook/Twitter post” and see the number of cases pop up. Smh. Like Dave Pell stated in the article in regards to the Justine Sacco Twitter incident, “Twitter, regardless of your follower numbers, is a public platform, The rules are clear enough. If you want to test out your offensive material, you’re better off doing so privately, like, say, over the phone.” On Twitter, it is extremely easy for tweets to go viral. Unfortunately for Justine, she learned the hard way.

There are also many people who have the “Its my page, I post what I want” attitude and to be honest I completely agree. It is indeed your page and you should post whatever you want as long as it is not hurting anyone or putting someone in harms’ way. That’s unfortunately is where the lines are blurred for some.

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If you are on social media by all means post whatever you feel is appropriate but understand nowadays “Freedom of Speech” no longer applies when it comes to the Internet and be aware that there is someone out there nosy enough to lurk on your page. Is self-censorship important in today society? YES. Especially when the things you post can get you locked up and possibly ruin your reputation. Is it fun? NO but if you’re like me and despise nosy people, holding back on posting a few things come second nature.  Is Self-Censorship important to you?

Photos by: www.prconversations.com & www.krusecontrolinc.com

Don’t Let This Happen To You…….

GETATRIM

Ladies please PLEASE get those trims and get them on time! I can’t stress it enough. I hate seeing women going months and months without getting a trim to hold on to length unknowingly losing more hair in the process.

I’ll admit it, I was guilty of this in my perm days. You couldn’t tell me nothing when my hair went past my shoulders but as soon as it did, the ends would snap like a twig. Frustrated and dissatisfied, I decided to take matters into my own hands and stopped getting trims. This campaign went on for several months and was proud of the little length I had gained. Prom was around the corner and I had enough length for the up-do I wanted without the use of weave. Or so I thought. :/

I’ll never forget the day going into the salon. I readily showed my hairstylist the up-do I wanted and she agreed that it was a great style choice. Her mind quickly changed once she examined my hair strands. She tapped me on shoulder ever so gently and asked, “When was the last time you got a trim?! The back of your hair is broken off really bad..The only way this will work with that hairstyle is to get some extensions in the back to fill it out and your hair will need to be cut soon.”

My heart sank. I was actually trying to avoid weave (for shallow bragging purposes) and Lord behold it was my savior for prom. I couldn’t believe I went so long without noticing how bad the back had broken off. I mean I noticed the breakage but I guess I was so blinded by the lust of long hair that I shrugged it off. Long story short, I got the weave, prom was a success and the following week, instead of having a trim, I had a full blown CUT. My hair went from shoulder length to Bob at the snip of the sheers :(. It was cute and most importantly it was in good shape.

Moral of the story is get those trims. They suck but they are so worth it 🙂

Hair Shrinkage…First I Hate You, Than I Love You…Now I HATE You Again

Hair Shrinkage...First I Hate You, Than I Love You...Now I HATE You Again

*Post was inspired by the recent “pleasant” affects of the humidity in good ol’ Georgia*

*Few curse words used, just so you know*

Hair shrinkage. For those who don’t know, shrinkage is the difference between what your hair looks like when it’s wet and gently stretched to its maximum length and what it looks like when it’s dry. It happens to all curls but it is more noticeable in kinky, coily hair because that hair type has tighter curls.

Shrinkage isn’t all bad since it does indicate that your hair is in good condition, meaning that the hair follicles can “spring” back to the scalp without breaking.

Why do I have a love-hate relationship with my shrinkage?

In the beginning of my natural hair journey, disliked shrinkage for superficial reasons. It didn’t display my hair’s true length and I didn’t know how to do my natural hair. I was not fond of my natural hair’s curl pattern and the teenie-weenie fro look (which was amplified by shrinkage). To avoid giving up and going back to the perm box I made it my mission to fight shrinkage. I’ve tried it all from a variety of weaves, wigs, and braids over a period of 6-8 months. After receiving terrible headaches and some hair loss from all those sew-ins and tight ass braids, I decided to bite the bullet and figure out how to maintain my natural hair.

When I began to love my shrinkage:

I began to love shrinkage once I embraced my hair for what it is. I sucked at twists outs in the beginning so I often did wash-n-gos using Miss Jessie’s Baby Butter Cream and Curly Pudding. Once that got too expensive, I began to use Shea Moisture’s Curl Enhancing Smoothie in conjunction with the Olive Oil Eco Styler Gel. My curls looked amazing!!

When I began to hate my shrinkage…again:

How so? After explaining how much I love and embraced my hair. Well lets just say once my hair began to grow out I began to notice some things.

First, I discovered I have two hair textures. The front, some parts of the middle and back hair pattern is a loose curl (3b-c) and both sides of my head are kinky (4a). I initially thought the looser pattern was heat damage due to dealing with inexperienced hair stylists but realized that its just growing out of my head like that (lol). To avoid looking a hot mess in public with two textures doing what they wanted to do, I stopped doing wash-n-gos and mastered twists, twist outs, ponytails and buns.

Now that my hair is bra-strap length with 80% shrinkage, the length will appear shoulder length (or shorter) if my hair gets wet or it’s humid outside and that’s on a good day :/ . To make matters worse, once it shrinks, my hair begins to matte up. Matted hair equals tangles, fairly nots and all sorts of fuckery if I do not twist it up promptly. I pineapple my hair at night at times, but often during the summer months I’m twisting it more unless its in a high or low bun.

I truly find shrinkage annoying but instead of combating shrinkage with weaves and extensions, I use styling products that reduces shrinkage (which I will post soon) and incorporate high buns and twists in my regimen. Some days I just give up and just go with the flow. I understand that shrinkage is apart of the going au natural and it is inevitable so to “fight it” would be a losing battle.

How do you feel about shrinkage?

Check out Miss Curly Nikki’s blog post Easy, Practical Ways To Combat Natural Hair Shrinkage here for more tips!